What size are babies?

The answer of course is baby size.  Your baby is that size and everyone elses is sort of fatter or skinnier than yours, but your baby is baby size.

The thing is that you forget just how small they are, or at least I had.  The funny thing is, that its not like I have not had any contact with young children or babies, yet I have still been taken aback by the tiny fingers and toes.

I know one thing I am glad I’m not a woman.  I hadn’t forgotten that bit, but had not quite remembered what they go through either.  Not for me, labour, child birth, milk coming through and the chapped nipples that look like red raw licorice torpedos with the colour half sucked off.  Ladies I salute you and am humbeled at your bravery.  I really mean that, that is not me taking the piss.

Serious design fault here God.  Trying to push a good size oven ready chicken out of such a small opening is no mean feat.


Moving on with tears in my eyes, I should tell you that since my sort of return to  domestication and  a more regular and normal (ahem) lif,  I have on occasions been able to catch up on some viewing.  My friends over the years constantly worry about me being out of the telly loop.  I do not share their concerns or feel hard done by.

Dr House – hard to take Black Adders artistocratic side kick seriously.

Desperate Housewives – cure for insomnia even if I dont need one.

I have revised my parenting skills with Outnumbered, although I have to say that the ineffectual parents do represent  a lot of people I know.    I enjoy it apart from the fact it makes me shout at the telly, which is daft, or not, maybe thats the sign of good TV.  Of course it could just be that I have lost it.

Strictly cum dancing sounded promising, but the time and the fact that old ladies talk you into a coma about it at any given opportunity should have warned me it was not suitable viewing for a chap of my sensitive disposition.

However I have seen some gems.  The IT Crowd has had me chuckling – usually out of context at 3am as I try to feed and change the new offspring.  The Big Bang Theory is also highly entertaining,  and without wishing to appear sexist,  the actress who plays Penny makes me think of breast feeding and the benfits that it gives a child.   She also reminds me the  benefits breast feeding gives fathers as they cant do it at anytime let alone in the middle of the night and thus remain asleep despite the racket that such a small bundle of arms and legs can make.

However I have really taken to one programme called How I Met Your Mother.  Highly amusing all in all,  for those of you who have been with this blog since the early days you will no doubt understand that I might have to make something up when asked this question in the future or risk a serious Eastern European beating.

Who’d have thought it tee hee.

Good job she doesn’t read this blog or I would be a deadman.

Maybe I should do some deleting.

2 Responses to “HIMYM”

  1. dl says:

    You might be able to delete the blog, Norm, but you’ll never erase the mental image. Scarred for life from having rad that one!

    Presume that item of hardware doesn’t see much action these days?


  2. Sally says:

    Hi Norm!
    Congrats on the babe!!! Fab news. I hadn’t blogged for ages but DL mentioned that you had had a baby, so I came to have a look myself, having managed to get something onto paper myself this week.
    Hope you don’t have too many bad sleepless nights. One or two interruptions in the early weeks is par for the course I guess, but hopefully you will get no more interruptions than that…
    Excellent news though. S x

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