Archive for July, 2010

Law Of The Gun

Monday, July 12th, 2010

The last couple of days have seen the media focusing on the death of Raoul Moat and it cropped up in conversation  yesterday when I was at a barbecue at the Mother in laws.

I was just enjoying a nice cold beer when I focused on the conversation around me.  It made me wonder at what the world is coming to as I listened to people who really should know better saying that he police should have allowed family members into the inner cordon to assist in the negotiations.  This prompted me to chip in and ask if Mr Plod should have also allowed Gaza in as well with his beers and chicken to give “Moaty” some support.  Gazza of course is well know for his calm rational approach to life and is something of an expert on police procedures, albeit in relation to drinking and driving and domestic violence.   I also ventured to suggest that maybe they could have got a local caterer to do a cake and all in all they could have had a nice little family gathering with us the tax payer footing the bill.  The people looked at me and one chap with very trendy round wire frame glasses who looked like Ben Elton asked me “Are you taking the piss?”


“Duh yes of course I am taking the piss, this was an armed siege not a friggin Moat family get together”

“But even so ” said one lady

“Even so what?” I asked

“The fact that the police used a Tazer cold have caused the man to spasm and shoot himself” she said

“And your point is what  exactly.  No doubt the police fired the tazer at him in an attempt to bring the situation to a non fatal conclusion.”

“Ah but it didn’t work so they killed him” said the lady triumphantly.

“I have to be honest with you madam,  I think the police did cock up, because the  truth is that they should have just shot him before the media circus arrived.  I can tell you that in every country I know, they would have just popped him as soon as they found him.  The story would be this…..We found him, he was armed he had used the weapons already he clearly was not prepared to surrender and thus presented a clear and present danger to the public and the public alike so we shot him”

They looked at me as if I was made of dog shit.

“In every other country in the world nobody would be having this stupid conversation. The fact is Moat was a murderer who chose to resort to cold blooded premeditated violence.”  The mother in law had joined us and was beside me listening to the conversation and then said quietly to the other people “I think you are forgetting that this man shot and killed one man, seriously injured a young lady and then carried out a totally unprovoked attack on another.”

“Ah but the third man was a police officer” said Mr Glasses smugly looking and sounding more like Ben Elton by the minute.

“That is immaterial” said the MIL “And the fact that you seem to think it excuses the act shows that you have no sense of decency or reality”

He blushed slightly, but carried on “Oh I know all about reality and crime, I lecture in criminology at XXXX university.”

I Looked at him ” Very impressive, but I bet you don’t teach your students section one of The International Law of The Gun”

He  smirked”What?”

“Section one states that If you choose to live by the gun you have to except to die by the gun.”

The trendy lady looked at me and said “Oh and I suppose you are an expert are you?” the group laughed, but in a flash my mother in law had lifted the front of my shirt to show the scar on my chest where the bullets had hit me last year. “As a matter of fact he is” she said.  They went quiet for a few seconds and shuffled uncomfortably and looked at their glasses.

Ben Elton looked at me “So you think its OK for the police to have shot this man.

“Actually I do, but the fact you have over looked Mr Criminologist is that they didn’t shoot him, he shot himself. ”

“Ah but if he hadn’t been hit with a tazer he could still be alive”He retorted

“Look a few years ago nobody had Tazers so it would have been bang bang you’re  dead straight off.  I have to say I expect the officer used the Tazer in the hope the dick head would drop the gun thus saving him a) the need to write a report that would resemble war and peace and b) the ensuing investigation and questioning at the hands of load of office dwellers who have probably never even seen a real gun let alone had to deal with somebody holding one.”

“Oh yes,  well that’s all well and good” said trendy lady ” But the police do have Tazers and they did use them and they could have and should have given him more time to make a reasoned decision”

“Reasoned decision? the police negotiated with him for six hours for fucks sake how much time did Moat give his victims, I’ll tell you fuck all”

“Language please Norman” chided the MIL

“Sorry.  But all of this situation came about because of Moats decisions.  It was his decision to get the gun, his decision to shoot the people he shot. It was his decision to go on the run and his decision not to surrender peacefully.  He was a big boy playing in a big boys playground to big boys rules.  Don’t make the murdering fucker sound like a victim because he wasn’t and I cannot believe that you even think that”

“They could have….”she said half heartedly

“Could have what?  let me ask you do you have children?”

“Yes my eldest in just finishing her second year at University and my son goes up to Oxford the year”

“So how would you feel if Moat had shot your daughter and son”

“Oh you can’t say that, it is not the same thing at all” she said crossly

“Why not, he shot somebody else’s sons and daughter, just because they are not yours does not mean they don’t matter.  You know full well that if it had been one of your kids that had been shot by Moat you would be saying why did the  the filth waste so much time negotiating with his and they should have popped the fucker earlier”

“How can you be so sure” said the Ben Elton look alike

“Because Einstein people like you bump their gums and come out with wise words when it does not affect them,  but they ain’t so philosophical when it is their turn to be touched by these things.  I hope it never happens to you but if it does you wont be pontificating about the assailant being a victim, you will want them to suffer or die and when that happens I want you to remember this conversation. I think another beer is in order”

Victim my fat arse.

Live by the gun die by the gun Moat got what he deserved.