Domestic Engineer

When I eventually got back from Egham, I found L in the kitchen armed with a couple of screwdrivers. The dishwasher door open and the interior panel off with wires hanging out. She was manipulating wires and bits of stuff around and saying a lot of things in Estonian which didn’t sound very polite, but my Estonian is a little thin on the ground I must say.

“What are you doing?” I asked

“Trying to mend the dishwasher, the programmer has broken” L replied.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I am sure” L said with more than just a minor note of irritation as she beavered away with her back to me.

“Can I help?”

“Probably not”

Thank God for small mercies I thought.

“There is really only a few things to go wrong with dishwasher. The main ones are the element, which heats the water. Then there is the water pump, and lastly the programmer, somtimes the seals go and they leak but…” she explained with an exasperated look on her face “The programmer is the most expensive bit, so you don’t get a prize for knowing it is that that breaks down more often than anything else”

“Is that a fact?” I said nodding my head sagely.

“Yes it is actually” she retorted looking with disgust at the offending gubbins in her hand. It was a programmer apparently.

“Are you some kind of expert or something?” I said in a bit of a sarcastic tone.

“As a mater of fact I am, I told you already that I am a domestic engineer” she retorted rather curtly.

“Oh right yeah, actually I thought it was joke” I said a little taken a back


“Well, domestic engineer, you know cleaner, housewife” I explained smiling

“why is that a joke, I am not a wife, I don’t understand?” she glared at me over her shoulder as she did something to the door.

“Well, err you know domestic engineer is a fancy title ladies give themselves as a joke, when they mean that they stay at home and look after their families” I explained.

“Why do they need a fancy title?”

“Why indeed” I agreed

“But I don’t understand why it is funny?” She persisted

“Well err its not really I suppose” I muttered

“So why is it a joke?”

She was a like a dog with a bloody bone. Do you ever wonder how you have managed to get yourself into a conversation or situation? I thought I had better try and make amends at what was clearly my gaff. I think. Gawd.

“So can you mend it?” I asked.

“Not now” she said closing the door very seriously.

“Whys that?” I said

“Because” she said rather sharply as she turned slowly turning towards me with a face like thunder. “I have finished”.

She pressed the start button and the dishwasher started its cycle.

Her stony expression gave way to that big beaming smile of hers.

“You crafty Doris”

She laughed a big happy laugh

“I think you mean crafty domestic engineer” She corrected me wagging her finger. And with that, she kissed me on the cheek and left the kitchen leaving me looking at a dishwasher.

There is only one Domestic Minx, but I wonder what the Estonian is for Domestic Minx?

6 Responses to “Domestic Engineer”

  1. John Humphries says:

    How is she on washing machines? Ours packed up the other day and the bloke cannot come out until Monday. Debs is going ape as there is washing all over the place.

  2. Brigitte says:

    It must be something to do with this fabumous weather we are having! My dishwasher packed up and she is right it was the programer. I was lucky though as the repair people were out in 24 hours.

  3. dl says:

    Wow! You could hire her out; make a fortune. But then, it seemed that was what Angela was doing with L’s chums before you happened across her a few weeks back.

    Still a cracking, page-turning read!

    Any updates on past problems fixed? …Pikeys? Yobs? Stalker? (See… been paying attention!) 🙂

  4. I think we should google that, Uncle Norman…
    domestic minx estonian – search

    Not only am I The Domestic Minx, I am also an engineer of sorts…or a plumber, it seems.

    I was the one at 5 o’clock this morning that repaired a plumbing issue under the kitchen sink. Not with the brute force that my husband had found necessary, but with calm, logic and deliberation.
    I am feeling rather smug now…

    All hail The Domestic Smarty Pants!!


  5. Sally says:

    Well she’s a dark horse! We could do with someone useful like that in our hosue!

  6. Uncle says:

    Hello everyone. Something I didn’t make clear in this post was just how daft I felt. I really thought she was being witty. Transpires she does all sorts of electrickery work but specialised in domestic appliances. I can be a right dick.

    John – Email me. I presume you are still down near Camberley.

    Brigitte – I blame those damn Russians. Wouldn’t fancy being a dishwasher in Yorkshire at the moment.

    Dl – Glad to see you have been paying attention, I will be asking questions later. Funny you should mention Angela because I will be posting about that little lady next week.I am going to do a little up date post but as you asked here is abrief update for you:
    I managed to get a tarmacking job for Tom the Pikey. He did a good job as well so he is sweet. You never know when you might need a friend.
    The yobs were getting a little silly again and that needed nipping in the bud last weekend. We tried being nice so this time we were not so nice. Nuff said.
    The stalker is currently out of circulation and receiving treatment. There is a little bit more to that story but I will reveal all in the near future.
    As for L’s ability with kitchen stuff, well I have talked to her about helping her set up a repair business. She is thinking about it.

    Minx – I dont think any plumbing problem would be too difficult for you. I would question the time you chose to repair said sink. 5am under a sink. Kinky.

    Sally – I am DIY disaster – glue is a speciality. My wife was tres handy round the house and L is very like her in many ways. I would have ignored the dishwasher or just got another one. How wasteful is that? I would say it is pretty ignorant of me really.

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