Stalker 1 – Part 4 Decision Time

There were photos and posters all over the place. Black & white and colour, big, small, on the beach, at work, dancing, walking and naked.

I know that for an instant I must have just gawped but then started a conversation about whether he was on broadband. He prattled on about being with Talk Talk. £28 a month free phone call etc etc.

I bled the radiator and Christ there was some air in there. When I finished I decided to take the bull by the horns.

“She’s a bit of a looker”

“Yeah isn’t she” said Robert “She’s my girlfriend, she’s a model you know”

“Yeah I’d believe it” I said “What sort of stuff does she do?”

“Oh all sorts, in fact I am trying to get her into films, She has done some film work already, you know low budget stuff”

I didn’t know, but I had a suspicion as to what low budget meant.

“How long have you been together?” I asked

“Oh quite a while now going on 2 years, the trouble is that she has a busy schedule and is out of the country a lot”

He tried to nod and muttered a sort of yes.

“Oh really” I said “Where is she now then?”

“The Far East” He lied ” She has just done a photo shoot in Thailand and she is on her way back to me”

“You obviously love her very much”

“You can’t begin to understand what she means to me, she is wonderful, beautiful and so loving”

This geezer was more than just a little off the rails and I was not happy with the way this was going.

In an ideal world I would have gone to the police and passed all the info over to them. Unfortunately we don’t live in an ideal world. They would want to do their own investigation and a lot of my evidence would be inadmissible. Consequently by the time anything concrete happened a lot of time would have passed. That is not a criticism of the boys in blue, but a statement of fact about the way the legal system works. They need evidence and the courts have to test it. In fact the problem was more basic than that because technically the police would not even have a victim, because Kim had not made any complaint as far as I knew. I was in a quandary for a whole host of very obvious reasons. I did not want this to run on and on, plus I was more than touch concerned about Roberts infatuation and fantasy world.

Decision time.

I looked Robert in the eyes.

“I tell you something I have seen a girl just like that in Croydon. In fact she works at…………Shop”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY” He hissed

“I said I’ve seen a girl like that in a shop in Croydon. It cant be the same one though because your girl’s in the Far East”

Robert stood and looked at me wide eyed and speechless. In the words of Magnus Magnussen “I have started so I’ll finish”

“I tell you something she is a bit of alright, I bet there’s a few blokes wouldn’t mind giving her one”

That did the trick. Actually maybe trick is not the right word but it did get a reaction. To be honest its hard describe accurately what happened next. But it sort of went something like this.

Robert suddenly roared/ screeched at me


“Keep you hair on my old son, I was just saying you know. This girl in Croydon if your girl is in the Far East why are you getting into such a tizz. I gotta tell you pal you are acting fucking weird”

That did it, he lunged at me and grabbed my throat and tried to strangle me. In films and on telly programmes the old self defence unarmed combat malarky is a piece of piss, but in reality it hardly ever works out as per the films. In a film I would of gone “HI YAH” and done some super smooth Aikido. But this is a little bedroom in a south London maisonette and my object was not to injure or kill this bloke. I staggered back under the onslaught of his attack. Robert was a man possessed and his blind rage was going to be his undoing. Hopefully that is. Well clearly it was his undoing or I would not be tapping the old keyboard would I.

Anyway, He was doing his best to strangle me but you know it takes a lot of force and time to actually choke someone. His eyes were bulging and he was spitting as he ranted and raved. I mentioned before in another post there is a big difference between hurting somebody and injuring them. Please don’t think I am mister nice guy or sweetness and light. The reason you hurt them is because they will do what you want, and the reason you don’t injure them is that you don’t want to end up explaining a lot of things to the police and courts of law.

There is a limit to how long he could tango like this before I retaliated and actually took some offensive action. I waited and chose my moment which is just at the point where he suddenly knows he is not going to be able to kill you and that he is getting a little tired. The rush of adrenalin starts to slow, he starts to have doubts and thinks what am I doing? This is the moment. I broke his grip on my throat by placing a grip on the back of his hand pressure on the knuckle of the index and middle fingers. Push up,twist and arc the wrist in a circle and with his arm straight and pressure applied to the hand forced him to the floor. Once on the floor I controlled his head by kneeling on him and bending his arm at the elbow and keeping pressure on the joint.

I weigh around 100kg so am not exactly a light weight. If you control the head you control the person. You dont have to use your knee, you can use the palm of your hand and just bear down on the person you want to restarin. It is not a pleasant sensation being restrained like this but it rarely injures the person.
Time to parlez

“Listen to me you sad fucker, I don’t know what the fuck is going on here and to be honest I don’t give a fuck, but I don’t like it one little bit do you understand me?”

I think he said he did.

“Now then Robert in a minute I am going to get off your head but if you try to fuck about with me again I will really hurt you. Do you understand”


I pressed don on his cheek bone with my knee just to reinforce the point and got off him. He lay on the floor panting and rubbing his sore cheek bone. I sat on the ancient bed setee, which actually turned out to be quite comfortable.

“Why did you get so upset Robert?” I asked very calmly.

He mutterd something

“I am sorry Robert I didn’t get that. Look why don”t you sit up and talk to me”

“Why should I, you aren’t interested in me” He mumbled

“How do you know, maybe I am interested in you, and maybe I might be able to help you”

Robert Sat up on the floor and looked at me.

“And what if I don’t want to talk to you or let you help me, why should I? I don’t know you”

I lent forward and extended my open right hand. Robert thought I was going to hit him and recoiled slightly but not so far as to prevent me tapping him gently on the cheek.

“If you don’t play ball with me Robert life could become very uncomfortable round here”


2 Responses to “Stalker 1 – Part 4 Decision Time”

  1. Sally says:

    Do you ever worry that you might get it wrong and end up dying?

  2. Uncle says:

    Sally – Like anyone I get it wrong and it hurts. I didn’t worry too much about dying until very recently, as things have changed in my life.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.