L has been working like a Trojan around the flat and the place looks like a new pin. Of course I cant find fuck all but hey ho.

I have been out a lot because of jobs and so I have not seen much of L over he last week.

We got to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 last week, which she enjoyed. The only draw back was that she hadn’t seen No2 so she kept asking questions. The bloke behind us got pissed off after awhile and tapped me on the shoulder and very politely said “Look mate can you run through this with your daughter after the film please.”

He had a point and he was very reasonable in the way he made it. Unfortunately L was very angry on my behalf and offended at his gaff about the age difference. I found it rather funny but I can tell you my laughing did not help L’s sense of humour failure one bit.

Since then I have only been home to kip and for a quick bit of grub, and as I said have not really seen anything of L. I had told her it was going to be a busy few days and to take it easy and just do her own thing.

I got back from the first phase of the yob job in South London just after Midnight on Saturday. I didn’t hear any noise so presumed she was out or asleep.

I pottered about the flat and was aware of a small pile of L’s clothes. There was not a lot. A couple of washed out looking bras and a few pairs of pants a and some tee shirts. On reflection, apart from the stuff the MIL had bought her to go to the theatre, I had only ever seen her in jeans. I had intended to do some shopping with L last week, but just had not had the time.

I had been invited to a barbecue at some friends house on Sunday afternoon and I had rung to see if they would mind L coming along. My mate is a very laid back sort of bloke and said of course it would be OK.

I had a good kip and got up at a reasonable hour on Saturday, and having done a few bits and pieces decided to take L breakfast in bed.

I knocked on the door and she muttered something, so I went in with the tray. L was lying on her side with her back to me. She pulled the covers over herself.

Was I detecting a hint of negative body language here?

“What’s this?” she said

“Breakfast in bed”


“Because I wanted to treat you”


She did not sit up.

I put the tray down on the chest of drawers and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Do you want to come to Charlie’s house tomorrow to meet him and his family.  They are having a barbecue”


“Is that yes or no”

“hmmm err”

She was definitely out of sorts. Way to go Norm for that amazing bit of deduction.

“what’s wrong”

“I have a lot to do”

“What on a Sunday? I don’t want you over doing it you know.”


“What’s the matter?”


“Look, I think that you need to get up and we need to go shopping for some bits for you.”


“yeah for you”

“For me?”

“Yeah clothes and things”

“Clothes and things”

“Fuck me there is an echo in here! Yeah clothes and things. You know girlie things like sexy undies and shoes and jeans and shirts and T shirts and more sexy undies.”

“Do you like girls in sexy undies?”

“I do, but I prefer them with nothing on at all”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I like you”

“I thought you don’t like me and have been avoiding me”


“You have been avoiding me”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“We went out on Thursday and that man embarrass you, because of me and you have hardly been home since then. It is all my fault, I asked you if I could say you were my boyfriend to my friends and that made you think you had to take me out. But you don’t want to take me out. You do it because you feel sorry for me, but could have taken someone else out, someone better”

“Embarrassed with you? Why would I be embarrassed, are you having a laugh? “

“No” she sulked

“Do I know anyone better?”

“How do I know you don’t tell me anything”

“Ok well let me tell you something. I am too old to be your boyfriend”

She looked hurt

“Lets get a few things straight here shall we” I continued “ I don’t know anyone better than you. I don’t take you out because I think I should, I take you out because I like you and I want to. It is you that should be embarrassed of me, you are a beautiful young woman and I am, I am, well almost twice your age and what ever I am, I am not a beautiful young woman am I.”

She rolled over onto her back and looked me in the eyes.

“Do you like me?”

I Touched her face and brushed some hair from her forehead. I was aware of the hard rough damaged skin on my hands against the soft warm skin of her cheek.

“Very much”

She smiled

“Good because I like you very much too Norman”

“L I might be too old to be your boyfriend but do you think you are too young to be my girlfriend?”

“No” she said haltingly

“L will you be my girlfriend and let me buy you sexy undies?”

She grinned a naughty grin and slithered down the bed under the covers.

“I will be your girlfriend Norman but only if you promise to kiss me and let me take them off for you”

I tell you something that girl knows how to negotiate.

4 Responses to “Negotiation”

  1. Sally says:

    So what nationality is she? It reminds me of ‘Love Actually’. Perhaps you need to learn a bit of her language to make things a bit clearer for her? I think she sounds completely besotted, but as such a bit insecure…

  2. Oh she is perfectly delicious…
    And a minx to my own heart.

    Let her choose the underwear Norman xx

  3. That is simply adorable, what a lucky man you are, and what a lucky girl she is!

  4. Uncle says:

    Sally – She is Estonian. Estonian is a sort of mix of Finnish and German from what I can understand. I speak reasonable French but no German, apart from one phrase. Something happened on Monday which made me realise just how insecure and vulnerable she is. I have to take this slowly and make sure I don’t lash it up for her or me.

    Minx – She is a minx and has a good sense of humour which is starting to come through. She just needs to find her feet.
    Oh she chose the underwear. SHHHHWING.

    Princesse – My MIL keeps ringing me to tell me I have landed on my feet. She is keeping that beady eye on me to make sure I realise how lucky I am

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