10 Things About Me

I have been tagged by the delightfully, decadent, deliciously, dysfunctional, Domestic Minx to reveal ten things about me. I am honoured but I don’t think I am very interesting. Well here goes.

No 1- Me

I am basically a very happy, contended chap and consider myself to be very lucky. I have had my ups and downs, but all in all I have had, and continue to enjoy a very good life. I have been all over the world and met thousands of interesting people and only killed some of them. That is a joke by the way. My black side is that I do have a tinsey winsey aggressive streak through me, but I rarely loose my temper and although very good at injuring people I am not a violent man. I hate confrontation but will not back away from it when faced with it. I am not a worrier. If I do worry it is for short bursts only. I think I am too stupid and lazy to worry for longer than about 12 hours. I do have a tendency to bear a grudge which sort of conflicts with the happy go lucky side of me. I am better than I was, but every now and then someone pisses me off and bingo. When that happens I am like a dog with a bone and hust wont let go. I know its not good but I just cant help it.

No 2 – Material Boy

I am not particularly bothered by material goods. I don’t have a car because I don’t really need one and generally they don’t do much for me. I don’t hold with this thing that car says something about me. I say something about me not a bloody car. In my line of work I get to drive lots of different cars, some good some bad, but at the end of the day they are a tool. If I do need a car I hire one, but I must be honest and say that I tend to hire nice cars. I do have a couple of favourite cars though. Like the Minx, I love the Karmann Ghia. My dad had one when I was a lad. Bloody fantastic. My other one is the Peugoet 504 convertible very cool. which I am not. If I bought a car it would probably be a fiat 4×4 or a Citroen C1.

No 3 – Humour

I am very very ticklish cos I am sensitive like. I also have a very warped – nay black sense of humour. I can see the funny side in most situations and can laugh at most things. This does not always go down too well with some people and it has got me into trouble on lots of occasions. I love comedy programmes and films. I know that some of the stuff I like is crap but it makes me laugh. I especially like Black Adder, Mr Bean, Open all hours, Dads Army, Fawlty towers, Phoenix nights, Max and Paddy, My name is Earl and Green Wing but to name a few.

No 4 – Films & The Cinema

I hardly watch television and never ever watch the news, but do watch TV series from DVD and I watch a lot of films and love going to the cinema. However I only really watch films with happy endings. This is not an exclusive but I do tend to like romantic comedies. I like some action films, but to be honest they are usually such a load of old bollocks they get me cross. The latest James Bond Film gets a thumbs up though. I will tell you something weird, when I am abroad I am always surprised when the Pearl and Dean music doesn’t come on at the cinema. If i was an inexperience traveller I might be forgiven, but I have been globe trotting since I was four, so you think I would have learnt by now. I was at a dinner sometime ago and mentioned the enhanced cinema experience viz the Pearl and Dean theme to the Entertainments minister of a certain African country and I think he thought I was on drugs, and when I sang the theme I could see he feared for his life. Granted I am not a good singer but even so, it did not deserve that frightened look.

Some favourite films: All Tarantino films, Waynes World 1 & 2, Love actually, Spy game, When Harry met Sally, Saving Private Ryan, Ice age (1&2), Johnny English, About a boy….I’ve gone blank! Thank god for that you think.

No 5- The Law

I have, through no fault of my own, found myself as a guest of the law enforcement and security services in a number of countries. I am an honest fellow and have never been convicted or even charged with any criminal offences. In my experience the most civilised place to be arrested is the UK. It has been my experience that by in large the accommodation on offer is generally of a poor quality. The wine list is bloody short and the menu overall leaves a bit to be desired. You also tend to find the other guests to be of a somewhat sombre disposition. I can highly recommend against being a guest of Bob Mugabe. Not much of sense of humour and more of hospital than hospitable host. So when I can book my accommodation, I tend to try to use a hotel that has beds and linen. I was once in a hotel in the Far East which cost about £5 a night including breakfast. In the morning I complained about a dead bug in the bed and the madam was very cross. I had to tell her it was not the dead bug I was complaining about, but the 50,000 at the funeral!

No 6 – Music.

I am not sure why I got to No6 before mentioning music because I love music, despite being as musical as a tree stump. I like all sorts of stuff. As a youth I was into heavy metal and still am but I also have an extensive classical collection. I love techno and modern dance music and have been lucky enough through work to do the clubs in Ibiza. At the moment my favourite band is the Killers. I am not big on rap, although I quite like that mother fucker Eminem, but I have to be in the mood. Some of my favourite songs are Wonderful world by Louis Armstrong, I believe in Angels by Abba, The theme from True Romance My wifes funeral music, Smile like you mean it by the Killers, Paradise city by Guns and Roses (which is to be played at the time they drop me into the ground or pop me into the furnace) Miss Sarajevo by U2 and Highway to hell by AC/DC.  If I was to adopt a theme tune it would have to be the Ace of Spades by Motor Head.  The lrics fir me and my life to a tee

No 7 – France

I speak pretty reasonable French and have a lot of French Friends plus few English friends who live in France. I love France. I love living in London and love the UK, but I love France and had planned to move there before my wife’s accident. I love the fact that it is such a varied place, there are several countries in one country. Does that make sense? let me explain, You have Normandy with it orchards and the Dordogne and Lot and Garrone with its rolling countryside. The Hautes Pyrennees with the snow capped mountains. Then there is the Pays Basque, chic and glamorous Biarritz and St Jean de Luz. The Alps, the Cotes D’azur oh I could go on for ever. Then of course there is the food and wine, but I will come to that in a mo.

No 8 – Food & Wine
I love food and cooking and I love wine. Actually I am not adverse to most beverages. I have always cooked and am pretty reasonable cook if I may so myself and take my cooking pretty seriously, although I don’t get all anal about it or beat myself up if it goes wrong. I don’t have a favourite chef although I do like Rick Stein, Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson. HUBBA HUBBA. Wine mmmm slurp. I vary what I drink. At the mo I am in a rose and white mode, in the winter I go for the reds. I am not a big lover of new world wines as they are a bit too heavy for me and I find they tend to over do the oak flavour. I like vodka, scotch and absinthe, ah the green fairy. There are are some absinthes on the market which if drunk before or during sex is just ding dong, but there is a danger that if you drink too much you get maudlin and start missing friends and loved ones. The reason for this is obvious – absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

No 9 – Women

I like women. I don’t mean I am a womaniser, or want to imply that I am mega stud. I would like to be a mega stud, but I may have left it too late. Silly simpering bints get right on my tits very quickly. Readers of earlier posts on my blog might have picked up on this! I like women who are intelligent, bold, funny, brave and sexy. Sally Lomax emailed me and told me off, when nobody else did. I am full of admiration for that. Me thinks the Domestic Minx is exactly that, a minx of the first order. So what else do I like about women? well apart from the obvious I like their presense. I used to use the word smell but got smacked in the ear by one lady, who thought I was being rude and odour didn’t do down so well either, so I now say perfume. or scent. The softness of their skin and that little something in their eyes. I could go on and on but it would be boring. What do i look for in a woman who might be a bed partner? Primarily all her own teeth (Optional) all her own limbs (optional) the ability to say Yes in the language of her choice

No 10 – Friends.

It is a lucky person who can say they have five good friends. Yeah, people have loads of acquaintances but these are not friends, and people should not get the two confused. I have some really good friends and they know who they are and I have loads of pals and internet chums. I am a lucky man.

Well there you go. I rather enjoyed doing this, but it seems a pretty crap list to me, but its the best I can do. I am honoured to have been tagged though. Thanks Minx

3 Responses to “10 Things About Me”

  1. Oh Norman!!

    What a brilliant read!!
    You are fascinating – but I already knew that!!

    I can’t believe how many things we have in common!!
    Music, wine, the whole French thing, travel, humour…
    I too have quite a nasty temper but it has mellowed a little over the years – thank God. I might be a little thing but that hasn’t stopped me from throwing myself into the fray. I am fiercely protective and terribly indignant if someone crosses the line with me. I can be awfully cutting, but truly don’t like hurting people’s feelings and will avoid it at all costs. Unless…
    Oh, don’t you just love the Karmann Ghia!! Although I simply love cars, beautiful cars, I would rather drive my little Mazda around than settle for something generic. I don’t see the point of wasting the money. If it can’t be fabulous then it is simply a way of getting from A – B. I’m funny like that, a bit all-or-nothing…

    And thank you, I really am a little Minx of the first order!
    A Madame X, as my Mum would say.

    Love your list! You did credit to the task XXX

  2. Sally says:

    Well, I’m glad I’m on the “liked” list!

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