Pikys 2

I am pleased to say that operation pikey is going well, and I hope it will be helped along by the traditional bank holiday weather.

Before the team brief on Friday evening I popped down to my storage facility in Wandsworth.

It always makes me laugh on films when the super cool geezer goes into his suburban garage and presses a button, and lo there is this mega massive hidden arsenal of goodies.

I use Big Yellow and the stuff I keep there is not that exciting at all. Useful, but not exciting. I suppose the most exciting bit of kit is a couple of cross bows,some night vision gear, radios, body armour and few other bits and bobs.

The biggest problem I could foresee were the pikeys poxy dogs. But fortunately dogs like suasages and meat. Now then if you are a cheeky devil and put a sedative into the meat the dogs become less of a problem. If they don’t take the drugged meat then I am afraid it is crossbow time – Silent, effective and very permanent. However if there is no need for violence or force why use it unless you really need to? Always best to try the easy way first!
LD is what we refer to as a KayNine. This bloke is an expert dog handler. A tag that could apply to his choice of women as well, but that is another story. He had already been to a vets to get some goodies and had been down to the plikeys camp twice in the last 24 hours and left some juicy tit bits for the dogs. Hopefully the dogs would be feeling mellow and instead of being met by snarling slobbering mutant beasts the dogs would be full of peace and love for man kind and going “like wow, bow wow man or whatever”
I picked up the stuff we were going to need and then headed off to meet the lads. I ran through the plan with the team. It was not complicated. I Try not to do complicated. The more intricate and complicated the better the chance is of fucking up. By dusk we were at our resepctive points in the back gardens of the houses and were ready to rock and roll.

We waited until the place was more or less in darkness and then we moved in and deployed our equipment. We needed to install 10 items, quickly and quietly around the site and then withdraw to activate them.
The dogs were indeed mellow and several were pretty well out for the count, and the two or three that were up for a sniff around us got given another Tescos economy sausage. No point wasting decent Richmond Pork sausages on bloody dogs! Just one tip though, always wear gloves and never forget to wash your hands afterwards or you might get an unexpected lie in.
It took maybe ten minutes to get everything in position and then we started the action.

Meanwhile the housleholders slept in their 6 bed detatched house with pictures of sugar plumbs and bonuses danced in their heads.

In their caravans the pikeys slept and dreamt of tarmacking drives and nicking lead.

Despite their social differences, they were untied in the fact that neither knew we were there and that we were about to make life very uncomfortable for the squatters.

All that was left to do now was to sit back and wait.

Waiting is a big part of soldiers lives and this work is no different. Slowly slowly catchey moneky!

Two blokes stayed over night and in the morning just before first light they deactivated the equipment and removed it. The rest of us were back home in bed just after midnight.
We did the same thing on Saturday and will repeat the procedure tonight and tomorrow as well. But as I said earlier I hope mother nature will help us speed things along a bit.

3 Responses to “Pikys 2”

  1. dl says:


    “everything in position”; “…started the action”; “…make life very uncomfortable…”; “deactivated the equipment”???

    I guess you may not be able to go into any more detail here, although I’m absolutely intrigued.

    Keep ’em coming…

  2. I am on the edge of my seat.

    I love Operations.
    I love a good Sting
    and I absolutely love a good suspense filled story!!!

    Looking forward to the next installment with bated breath, and luckily not baited sausages!!!

  3. andy says:

    I just read the above and pissed myself!!!
    Brings back memories when i was 16 on a youth training scheme (that slag thatcher called it yts)slave labour £23.50 pw working for the council.
    We had a job i looked forward to NOT, planting trees around the gipsy camp in frome somerset.
    I thought “oh fuck”
    i smacked this diddy kid out at school if the cunt recognises me im in shit creek-have half a dozen one toothed irish tinkers on me back.
    So i hid in the back of this crappy little bedford van with the pea shooter exhaust.
    When we got there my mate said “andy got to go to dentist be back in an hour put the stakes in with the post rammer”
    i said “you aint leaving me ere ”
    then this 3 toothed woman came out of her tin home and said to me “wanna tea mr”i said “no thanks luv” (thinking one of her cave dwelling offspring might have pissed in the cup)
    then this fat twat came over he said “chattin up my sister?
    shes pregnant you cunt!(probably his kid inbred cunts)
    i just played situation down and carryed on planting poor trees-then he goes “dont put the stakes in we will have them as firewood”
    i looked at him and said “no you fkin wont wanker”
    then his son came over true as day the one i smacked at school.
    “i owe you one he said”
    without thinking i dropped the postrammer on his foot (heavy barstards them)
    legged it to van my workmate pete followed we hotfooted it out.
    left the cunts to it.
    when we got back to depot (after petes dentist appointment)
    fkin pikeys in yard reported me for assault!!!
    thats rich from them.

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