Bank Holiday

Having had other things on my mind and having been away I had forgotten the joys of a British Bank holidays.  I didn’t realise till the day was almost upon me that yesterday was a bank holiday.  Jesus the fucking traffic was dire, but that’s not the point.
I was invited to a friends house for a barbecue.  its always a bit tricky when I have been away because everyone comments on my lovely tan.  I usually tell them I have been to Spain or somewhere like that and that keeps them happy,  unless like yesterday you get collared by some boring cunt who goes through the ins and outs of ducks arse about Andalusia or some such place.  As if I give a shit.

There was this little kid who was about 7 give or take.  He had a mobile and the fucking thing kept ringing.    If he wasn’t yacking he was sending or getting texts.   He was a right gobby little shite as well.  His mum and dad were “lecturers” at some place in South London and were telling me how their lad needed his phone to express himself.

Them “we are in conflict with his educational establishment because they insist he turns the phone off when in class”

UN “why is that a problem”

Them “Well someone could be trying to conbtact him with urgent news”

UN “Your having a laugh”

Them “Oh no he is very important member of his peer group within the local community”

UN ” What is he a fuckin drugs dealer”

Them “A what, oh no hardly, how could you suggest such a thing, he uses it to express himself”

UN “Do you allow mobiles in your classes?”

Them “No of course we don’t allow them in our classes”

UN “so why should you dustbin lid be allowed to have one in glass when you dont allow them yourselves”

Them “He is important and needs it to express himself”

UN “He is 7, why the fuck does he need a mobile to express himself”

Not a hard question but after 2 hours they had not given an answer.  They were so far about their own arses that I had wandered off and had two more chicken drumsticks and a cremated burger before they noticed I was not listening.

So the point is why does a 7 year old kid need a mobile?  It is not really question more a statement.

I was all set to kill the fucking cleaning lady, but she didn’t show, so that will have to wait to whenever the lazy trout show her boat race.   Fuck knows I am not the fussiest bloke but the dirt in my gaff is just something else. Fuckin liberty.

Oh one last thing my email is playing up.   Should be sorted by then end of the week and on with some more UN posts.

3 Responses to “Bank Holiday”

  1. funnysparky says:

    I have ditched my mobile, and no kid ‘needs’ one

  2. Uncle says:

    I have a mobile somewhere. I don’t know the number so I cant give it out

  3. Brigitte says:

    Has your cleaning lady shown up yet?

    Mine went back to Manilla for two months without telling me and could not understand why I got somebody else!

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